HaCkeD by SA3D HaCk3D
KurDish HaCk3rS WaS Here
FUCK ISIS !
KurDish HaCk3rS WaS Here
FUCK ISIS !
My very first diagnosis was Autism when i was 4yr. my family fought it though… leading through a massive list of misdiagnosis’ during my entire school life. it wasn’t until the past year that they finally started accepting that the doctors were right.. however they dont appolize…
I think with being on the spectrum, there area lot of things that happen, which can be misunderstood, and seen as something different. Leading to an almost impossible hill for the child to climb and to accomplish. Because certain ways to do things, aren’t the ways that help. What others see as a tantrum, and can and should be controlled by the kid, or its a behavior problem… is really a meltdown, and by getting mad and adding more stimilus to the kid will only cause things to get worse.. such as disiplining the child while having a meltdown. spanking a kid for what appears to be a tantrum, does nothing more than torment the autisitic child, as it furthers the overbearing stimulis, and another extreme. (that’s something that happened quite often for me).
But by having a reason, which gives more understanding, it opens up that area of “well maybe this is managable”, because often it’s an rough path for both the child and the parents if they aren’t able to see what’s really happening. such as, a tantrum is associated to a “it’s not fair” anger and hurt feeling, and when asked why they are being the way they are, they can clearly state what it is that they want, loud and clear. and tantrums are a behavior issue..
While meltdowns can come on “out of the blue”, and the cause might not be able to be determined. But it is uncontrolable, it happens, the sense get totally overwhelmed in the brain, which causes a meltdown. at these times, a child might not be able to explain why, or whats wrong, or even after the meltdown and they are calmed back down, usually they are as confused over it, as you are.
a ton of people thought i would be lieing when i was telling the true about things.. because of my body language, and the fact that i wasn’t crying when revealing something tramatic, and sometimes i would laugh inapproapriately. And i wasn’t able to understand or figure out, why people wouldn’t believe me. in daycare one day i even had a worker chase me down as i was fleeing the overwhelming stimiuls, then yell at me, and because her kid told her i did something that i didn’t, she was furious, and told me she knew i was lieing.. after she went on and on, it finally came to a stop when she asked me if i knew how she knew i was lieing, and then told me because i wouldn’t look at her…. that left me even more confused, and i withdrew because no one had ever pointed out that i didn’t make eye contact… and i didn’t know eye contact was one way to be believed. i also got into more trouble for “lieing” because i was trying to tell her how i wasn’t lieing. After that they placed me with the 2 year olds group. I was 11-ish.. however, i didn’t see that age gap..
I think if my parents would of agreed with it, and didn’t pull me up and move everytime someone came to the conclussion of autism about me, then i would of had a lot more progress than where i am currently at.
I think having a diagnosis, adds to the aid and help, along with a greater understanding, in which can then lead to finding ways that work.
Something one of my casemangers said (which is very accurate for me), you just have to know the right questions to ask.
For older people, a person can try to figure out if having the diagnosis will help them any, or if they feel like it would harm them. Eventually leading to them either reaching out of the diagnosis, or leaving it behind.
… its because of the loneliness factors.. the not being understood factor… the lacking of friends, even tho one tries to gain and keep them… the lack of being like others, so bad that it hurts… and the fact that so many people that aren’t on the spectrum, will prolly say to what i just said “oh i have that too”, or “i know what that’s like.” , or “I’ve had to go through that a few times, but once i was able to _____. I didn’t have to worry about that any more because it wasn’t a problem no longer.”, or “i have troubles with that too, but you just have to _____ “, only proves this point… because you might sympathize, but are not able to empathize… you may know how it feels to you, but you dont know how it feels all the time, never having a break from it, never being stuck with people who just dont seem to understand… never reaching that goal, no matter how much you try, how long you try, how hard it is… always trying … but never being able to achieve that.
And if you did, you would be stuck just like that… and wouldn’t have found that solution that one swears by works.
Brain MRI’s (and FMRI’s) suck. Basically the only thing that makes them simliar to an “MRI” is the way the machiene works and the tube you go in… by the time it was over, I felt like i was rammed into a wall (like how the log rammed into the poor Roseanne from the candy commercial) about 10 times, and like my brain had been taken apart and loosely put back together. Then after it was done, loud high pitched screaming in my ears for hours to come. And the EEG gooppeeey stuff caused chemical burns on me during the MRI. then i got stuck twice for the contrast, and one time being right in my wrist (palm side up). then when i got up, MAAAN did i have a headache.. not just one kind either.. it was a regular headache, and then one with the burns, and then a few in random spots within my head/brain. and like when i get out and it’s cold my brain feels like i’m getting a brain freeze from a cold beverage-but there are no beverages. and i keep getting sharp pinching pain at the top, but back side of my head(about skull level, which radiates further within)… It may have had more of an affect on me just because it brought back what it felt like to be hit in the face. but also i feel pressure in there, and i guess all that stuff knocked the sinus cavities for a good one, because it cleared out my whole head, which apparently seemed my problem with my hearing in my right ear.. cause now i’m right back to sounds being extremely painful (not related to a headache senstivity). And my a part of my ribs keeps hurting, and today i had a hard time standing up and walking across the room. last night it hurt, and my knees kept having problems. my chest is all ichy and burny and i guess i got a tiny bit of chemical burns there too around my collar bone. and i still cant feel anything but pressure on my nose or a certain part of my left leg (no feeling on the skin). and my stomach was hurting really bad when ever i was moving around yesterday. and the inside of my shoulder area keeps getting sharp-ish like pecking pain in it. And along with dizzy spells, and nausea (to the point i went trying to make my way to the bathroom- thats how far it got to.. but it remained just nausea), and feeling my heart beating in thumps within my throat, trembling legs, and i just feel so unknown miserable (like the kind where you think something is about to happen (physically, not mentally) but you dont know what.. you dont know if your going to puke, or poop, or if it might find its way out your belly button, or what). and i kept jumping(whole body jerk) everytime the machiene would start making sounds after a pause.
The only way they are ever getting me to do that again, will have to be when i’m unconscious and dont have a say in it. NEVER AGAIN!
There, I’m done, thanks for listening to me rant/vent. I actually can’t wait to see what my brain looks like. lol that’s something i’ve never gotten to see before (but then again, neither has anyone else lol!!)
|Subject||Yet another one.|
|DateCreated||5/19/2006 9:43:00 PM|
|PostedDate||5/19/2006 10:01:00 PM|
|Body||But this time.. lol.. it is a diffrent day… by 1 minute.lol!
I AM: Known by many diffrent names.. (Christina; Angel; Angle; April; Ang-ang; and many more.lol)
I WANT: feel safe.
I HAVE: A kitten
I WISH: I wasn’t “worthless”.
I HATE: being yelled at.
I MISS: My friends.
I FEAR: people. sometimes..
I HEAR: My music..lol.
I SEARCH: For true friendship.
I WONDER: if i’m the only one, alot.
I REGRET: somethings.
I ACHE: in my stomach..
I ALWAYS: Smile.. or atleast most of the time.. i think.. lol.
I AM NOT: …talkative, or atleast lately i haven’t.. *shrugs*
I DANCE: random things.
I SING: When I feel comfortable, and not scared.. and I also have to be hyper, or somewhat talkative that day.
I CRY: When I’m really mad, or when someone hurts me mentally.
I WRITE: lyrics/poems/fanfics.
I LOSE: things sometimes.. but after awhile I usually find it (even if it was a year later.lol)
I CONFUSE: people, when I talk without arranging my words in my head first (another reason why i’m so quiet. lol)
I NEED: money
I SHOULD: get offline and goto sleep, so I can get online when I was suppose to meet Danielle online.lol..
DO YOU’s/HAVE YOU’s:
You keep a diary: Nothing too personal… cause everything i have gets violated.
You have a secret journal: …My mind… and my best friends.lol..
You set your watch a few minutes ahead: no.. Why should I, I need the extra sleep.lol ^_^
You bite your fingernails: When I am nervous, or having a rough time over something..
Take a shower everyday: more like every other day.. That’s when i’m at school.lol.. when its just me, then.. ehh.. maybe 3 or 4 at the most.. but mostly when i wait 4 days its cause i’m sick or something.
Have a(any) crush(es): … Don’t know.lol ^_^
Think you know you’ve been in love: .. ehh.. yes? i don’t know.lol..
Been hurt: … dot dot dot…
Want to get married: Someday.
Have any tattoos/where?: No
Piercing/where?: yes, on my ears.
Think you’re a health freak: unless i’m sick no…
Get along with your parents: no.
COLOR: Light Blue
SONG: Many. lol.
FOOD: Mexican food ^_^
SPORT: volleyball; swimming.
DRINK: Sprite or Mountian Dew
VEGGIE: ….. don’t know
FRUIT: Pineapples.. and even though I can’t eat more than one bite of a bannana, i love them too.lol.
FAST FOOD: Taco Bell! ^_^
In the last 24 hours have you:
HELPED SOMEONE? I don’t know.
BOUGHT SOMETHING? no
GOTTEN SICK? Ugh.. don’t remind me.
GONE TO THE MOVIES? … Not been to one since last summer with Caitlin.
GONE OUT FOR DINNER? Last time I did that… Last summer with my sister, and dad.
SAID “I LOVE YOU”? …ya, to my neko (cat, in japanese).
WRITTEN A REAL LETTER? LOL.. poor Caitlin.. yes..lol..
MISSED SOMEONE? Yep
HUGGED SOMEONE? … no..
FOUGHT WITH YOUR PARENTS? yes.
FOUGHT WITH A FRIEND? No.
would you ever…
1. Eat a bug? eww.. no..
2. Bungee jump? possibly
3. Hang glide? Possibly
4. would you cheat on your bf/gf? If i had one.. No.
5. Have sex with someone you don’t love? No.
6. Kiss someone of the same sex? ….eh? .. my sister count? lol
7. Parachute from a plane? No
8. Walk on hot coals? No
9. Go out with someone for his or her looks? no.
10. For their reputation? no.
11. Be a vegetarian? probably not.
12. Wear plaid with stripes? don’t know.
13. IM a stranger? LOL.. “I love you” .. that’s what me and Caitlin did one day at school in the yahoo game rooms.. just randomly IMing people saying that we loved them.. ^_^ hehe.. some pretty funny replies.. even our teacher was laughing ^_^.
14. Sing karaoke? I have done that before.
15. Get drunk? no..
16. Shoplift? … no
17. Run a red light? No.
18. Dye your hair blue? No.
19. Be on Survivor? No way.lol.. I’d never survive.lol
20. Wear makeup in public? never.. but it’s possible later on.
21. NOT wear makeup in public? ^_^ what? lol, takes to much time.. and I feel… all… werid.lol.
22. Make someone cry? v.v I’ve done that a few times, hopefully never agian. (one time was with my brother Zack).
23. Kick a baby? NO WAY!
24. Date someone more than ten years older than you? .. No.
25. Stay up all through the night? … All the way? maybe one day.lol.. latest I’ve made it was like 5am…lol.. (and that was at Danielle’s house.. lol ^_^ I got attacked by a killer ant. lol)
1.Fallen for your best friend? When I was younger… ya.. once…lol.
2.made out with a friend? o.o .. not really… lol
3.been rejected? ehh.. never ask anyone.. so I supose i never have.lol.
4.been in love? yep.
5.used someone? no.
6.been used? I don’t know..
7.been cool? Define “Cool”.
8.done something you regret? sometimes.
who was the last person…
9.you touched? JoAnn
10.you talked to? Morgan
11.you hugged? Charles
12.you IMed? Morgan
13.you kissed? My cat.
14.you had sex with? No one.
15.you yelled at? .. Wanting to? or actually did? Under my breath I yelled back at my parents..
16.you laughed with? Morgan
17.who broke your heart? do parents count?
18.who told you they loved you? …. … Someone in my U.S. History class when they wanted the answers…
19. color your hair? did a few times. not anymore.
20.have tattoos? Nope
21.have piercings? my ears.
22.have a boyfriend/girlfriend? No.
23.own a webcam? No.
24.own a thong? No.
25.ever get off the computer? Ya, when I’m somewhere where I can’t get on a computer, or when my tv works, I can play video games, but that’s about the only time.. oh, and when I sleep. lol.
Have you/do you/are you…
26. stolen anything? Once, when I was like 3yr.. (yes i know.. its strange but it stayed in my memory… it was a … small brown deer toy thing..)
27. schizophrenic? Nope… I don’t think. I’ve been labeled with many things but that’s not one of them.lol.
28. are you obessive? … depends… sometimes.
29. panic? sometimes.lol.
30. if you could be anywhere right now, where would you be? Spending the night with Caitlin. *cries*
31. what facial feature do you like most about your boyfriend/girlfriend? Don’t have one….
32. would you vote for a woman president? Depends.. If she could do the job.
33. would you marry for money? No.
34. Have you had braces? Sort of.
35. do you pluck your eyebrows? When I can find the tweezers.. yes.. otherwise, no.lol.
36. do you like mustaches? not really.
37. when did you last have a hickey? no.
38. By who? I just said no. *rolls eyes* lol.
39. who do you want to kiss? lol, you think I would actually answer that?
40. If you could get stuck with anyone in a closet who would it be? well… I wouldn’t really want to be stuck in a closet.. scarey..lol
|DateCreated||5/20/2006 10:58:00 AM|
|PostedDate||5/20/2006 10:56:00 AM|
|DateCreated||5/20/2006 11:35:00 AM|
|PostedDate||5/20/2006 11:34:00 AM|
|Subject||I didn’t know I had children yet.lol|
|DateCreated||5/20/2006 11:39:00 AM|
|PostedDate||5/20/2006 11:36:00 AM|
Daily Horoscope for Capricorn
You will meet exciting new people through interest groups or functions that you attend with your children. Exaggeration or deception coupled with overindulgence might be a problem. Get involved in creative projects that could turn into moneymaking ventures.
My children?! LOL!! ROFTL!!! hehe! I didn’t know I had any children.. unless they are counting my sister, who I took care of some… LOL!!
|Subject||YAY FOR BOREDUM… not really.lol|
|DateCreated||5/20/2006 12:02:00 PM|
|PostedDate||5/20/2006 12:00:00 PM|
|Subject||Huge survey.. This may be my last..lol.. it pretty much covered everything.lol|
|DateCreated||5/21/2006 12:49:00 PM|
|PostedDate||5/21/2006 12:47:00 PM|
|DateCreated||5/21/2006 6:29:00 PM|
|PostedDate||5/21/2006 7:17:00 PM|
|Body||My cousin and I are good friends agian….. or… atleast until he decides that he is mad at me agian… I don’t know why I keep being his friend… When all he does is hurt me. It may be the “destiny” or what ever it is called where something has been that way, and it is meant to be that way.. and it has allways been that way since a very young age. (we have known eachother since before school age) … We have always been like siblings (even to the fighting part.lol). and we have never really gotten violent other than words until the past few years (actually a lot of years ago *shrugs*)…. and… now I just know that I don’t win in a game against him… or anything that makes him mad…
I think it started because of me.. Because I saw how much our grandma was hurting him (and making him mad, and being so… mean) so I had this theory: “If he hits me, it will make him feel better, and He wont be angry so much.. And I can help him” … and it was more of I had pain watching him as he felt angry, and the other things he felt cause of her.. But I seemed to feel better when he did hit me (messed up I know)… but he used to never be so strong… now when he hits it feels like, all of my skin just goes limp in that area and die… and the bone aches… (he even hits harder than my step dad, which is saying something)…. I don’t know why I’m posting this.. I guess I just feel if i say something this will leave my mind… It’s not that I really trust anyone with this information.. and this is the kind of information I only trust with my best friends.. so I really don’t know if I want to post this now or not….. *sighs* I suppose I will… just if you are reading this, and you’re not one I usually talk to about my …. life… then don’t expect me to tell you all about the things in my head, and things that go on..
|DateCreated||5/22/2006 3:43:00 PM|
|PostedDate||5/22/2006 4:16:00 PM|
|Body||1. Do you get sad when school’s out? Ya… Go ahead, you can call me crazy…2. Spring or Summer? spring
3. When is the last day of school? in 2 days… Wednesday.
4. Have any plans for the summer? Getting a job, then using the money to see my best friends in Tx; July 24th – August 13th.
5. Did April showers bring May flowers? uh.. whaty, what? lol
6. What do you find most enjoyable about a sunny day? I can get a tan.
>> Over summer do you…?
7. Plan to go to any concerts?: nope.
8. Watch a lot of movies?: Possibly…
9. Make a lot of memorable moments?: That’s a definate, Yep!
10. Sleep in?: For the most part.. yep.
11. Go to any carnivals?: uhhhh.. Six flags count? lol…
12. Like to swim? yes!
13. Tan? Yep.. or red..lol..
14. Like to hangout with your friends? YES!!!!!!!!
15. Get allergies? Hopefully not..
16. Have that summer romance and then dump them as soon as summer’s over? …. no
17. Miss going to school even just little bit? I’ll miss this school year… but I don’t know if I’ll want to go back or not.. Most of the people I know are Seniors, and they are leaving this year. *cries*
18. Wear sunglasses? nope, don’t look good on me..
19. How many pairs of sunglasses do you have? like 3, but i never wear them.
>>Over summer are you…
20. Travelling to another place?: Yep! Texas! ^_^
21. Planning to work? Yep.
22. Why or Why not? Need the money to goto Texas.
23. What do you do for the 4th of July? …Wish that I could goto Plano, Tx, and watch the fireworks with my best friends with my mom…
24. Is shopping for school clothes your favorite thing about summer? 0.0 no… why would it be? clothe shoping is boring!
25. What about school supply shopping? … If i get what I want.. if not.. then no.. its not fun..
26. What is the temperature right now? uh… like…. 70? … right now in Tx its 90 *dreams about being where it is warm*
27. How hot can it get? Here… not sure..lol…. But in Texas I have seen and felt it when it was 135 degrees .. and the heat index was something like 140.. (the swimming pool was like a sauna.. lol.. so AC inside is the best way to go..lol)
28. What’s your favorite place to go swimming? … Caitlin’s swimming pool ^_^ …. aww *pouts* I’m missing the pool party this year… v.v
29. What’s your favorite summertime drink? err… uh… i drink the same thing all year around.lol.
30. What’s your favorite summertime song? It’s the same as the drink thing.
31. Baskin Robbins 31 or Dairy Queen? …What is a baskin robbins 31? .. I suppose Dairy Queen… but.. could I choose Braums?
32. After summer is over what’s there to look foward to? .. Well this year… My cousin is coming to the high school.. so i’m hopeing we can be friends.. But after summer is over? I’ll be looking foward to next summer, when I can offically move back to Tx, and goto Collin County Community College… ^_^
33. When is the 1st day of school? I think august the 14th.. not sure though.
34. Summers over, what are your thoughts? … WHY?! lol..
|DateCreated||5/24/2006 7:26:00 PM|
|PostedDate||5/24/2006 8:24:00 PM|
|Body||… I’m happy that I get to stay up as late as I want, and that I get to wake up when ever I want…. And I have to admit, the “party” on our bus ride home… I liked.. But… I still dont want school to be out…. Just wondering if anyone or how many feel the same? ….How many people had a “party” on their bus? .. I heard some people got candy.. Our bus only had drinks ^_^ but i’m okay with that. ^_^
I suppose I can be categorized as a senior now ^_^, since I am spending no more time as a Jr. ^_^
|DateCreated||5/25/2006 6:32:00 PM|
|PostedDate||5/25/2006 6:30:00 PM|
|Body||yep.. not much, other than kind of sad.. but oh well.|
|DateCreated||5/28/2006 8:36:00 AM|
|PostedDate||5/28/2006 9:21:00 AM|
sorry i was at jamies house… so you can’t come to me at that time… I’m going on a cruise… we leave july 30 and come back my dad says a week later… and me and my mom go school shopping around that time before school so that wont work for me at all. sorry…
caitlin”…. ya, the one day i’ve been looking foward to, for almost a year now…. I… wont see my best friend….. I’ll…. not even have another chance to see her until college… and that is if-y too… I feel like just yelling “WHAT DOES IT MATTER NOW!? THE ONLY REASON FOR THE JOB WAS BECAUSE I WANTED TO GO SEE HER! WHAT DOES ANYTHING MATTER! IF A DAY THAT WAS PLANNED FOR ALMOST A YEAR, HAD JUST BEEN SUDDENLY CHANGED!!!” i really feel like saying a bad word with “it” after it… but. i wont…
ahh, i can’t talk about it anymore.. *posts this, then runs off into my room crying* (for real)
Lyrics of a song i’ve heard before (it’s one that was remade for a movie so the words are diffrent from the original)…
“Sometimes I feel like I don’t have a friend,
|Subject||uppy-date to “*crying*”|
|DateCreated||5/28/2006 11:20:00 AM|
|PostedDate||5/28/2006 12:13:00 PM|
|Body||I’m just bored…. trying to find something to do…
I hopeing that Caitlin will email me back with something hopefull…. so far this is all of what we’ve said today………Me: “*nods*”
Caitlin: “all i get is a nod??? that makes me feel like something is wrong and angel doesn’t want to talk about it…”
Me: “yes…. me is very sad, and depressed, but me will be okay..
That’s the only tiime I can come.. cause i have no way to get enough money before that.. (with bus it is 188 dollars, and with plane last time i checked the cheapest was 300 something, but it goes up everyday……) ….
plus now i’m all embarrased to leave my house..lol! … I cut my hair.. and … well.. one side got cut shorter than the rest of my hair.. and i don’t want the rest of my hair to be that short so i’m leaving it… unless i can’t quit thinking of what it looks like..lol…”
|Subject||Something I seemed to notice about myself….|
|DateCreated||5/30/2006 10:52:00 PM|
|PostedDate||5/30/2006 11:22:00 PM|
|Body||Strange… I noticed when I’m not around my parents for atleast a day or so… I start… becoming “outgoing” … I really… don’t know why though… The only conclusion i can come up with is… That I can actually be me, without a serious punishment… I… I’m just really thinking on this right now.. Because I never really noticed it until now… Even when I was at my Dad’s… I was like… so talkative, and not so shy that I felt like I would just kill over if I had to go up and talk to someone…. ugh! why ?! …. I often wonder if I would still be known as the “good” kid if my outgoing side showed? …. I mean.. I’m much more talkative, and much more expressive on how I feel, and how i think of something, or somebody… …. …. (even though… as i was at my dad’s; I was still a bit shy though… just not very much…) …. I was mostly hyper… like I am rarely … or lets put it this way, like I rarely show it.. (there are many days that I am hyper, and don’t show it much… )Hehe, change of subject sortof… but wanna see pics of me being hyper? (about as hyper as I can get… i… think… lol) (pics are from Jenni’s cam, and they were taken on the last days of school.. P.E. and Biology)…. *embarrased* Yes… I know… I look quite stupid in these.. and some… I don’t know… I just look… very…. um….. ….. ….. weird… lol.. (soon i’ll have more… maybe … to show you… there are pics (some really good ones… one that I like a lot.. its a strange (clean) pose, ) on Shelby’s cam… ^_^)
Okey, here is a clear-er picture of the one I uploaded in my myspace photo section.. (myspace blurred it a bit).. its a collage… ^_^
Guess i should go now.. i’m getting annoyed at my compy because it keeps poping up a window telling me to restart my computer,.. and if i don’t click “restart later” then it will do it automaticly in 4 mins (but it keeps coming back…lol)
|DateCreated||6/6/2006 11:13:00 AM|
|PostedDate||6/6/2006 12:08:00 PM|
|Body||43 of the MOST Random Questions Ever
1. Where were you 1 hour ago?
2. Who will be your next kiss?
3. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
4. When is the last time you went to the mall?
5. Are you wearing socks right now?
6. When was the last time you went out of town?
7. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days?
8. What was the last thing you had to drink?
9. What are you wearing right now?
10. Have you been in a car wash?
11. Last fast food you ate?
12. Where were you last week on Saturday?
13. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
14. when was the last time you ran?
15. What’s the last sporting event you watched?
16. What is your favorite class?
17. Your dream vacation?
18. Last 3 people’s houses you were in?
19. How old are your parents?
20. Are you in love?
21. Do you miss anyone?
22. Last play you saw?
23. What are your plans for today?
24. Who is the last person you commented on myspace?
25. Ever go to camp?
26. Were you an honor roll student in school?
27. What do you want to know about the future?
28. Are you wearing any perfume or cologne?
29. Are you hungry?
30. Where is your best friend located?
31. Do you have a tan?
32. How old do you want to be when you have kids?
33. Do you collect anything?
34. Last time you got stopped by a cop or pulled over?
35. Have you ever drank your soda from a straw?
36. How do you like your drinks?
37. Do you like hot sauce?
38. Last time you took a shower?
39. Who do you have a crush on?
40. What is your mood?
41. Are you someones best friend?
42. Are you rich?
43. What do you think of the person who took this survey before?